It is now 8pm. My wife has been out since morning. Yeap another argument. It seems I will never have peace at home, and I will never have peace on Sunday.
Yesterday, she slept late. Some functions at her company causes her to reach home only around 1am. By the time she finished bathing and drying her hair, it's already well past 2am.
This morning, I lovingly told her to continue sleeping and don't bother to go to church. I know she does not like to go to church, especially the one we are attending now. No particular reason, but most probably because of the CL. But then again, she never really make herself comfortable in any church or to build relationship with the members of the church.
I have also promised her that I will be back before afternoon, after which I shall cook lunch for her to eat. I took out a fish which I brought early yesterday morning at a major wet market near town, so that it will be ready when I am back in less than 3 hours time.
But she refuse. She says she want me to attend 'another church' at the city. Well, I couldn't understand the reason for her to do so. What is she thinking? The silly reason she gave?
Well the church starts an hour late from the one we used to attend. That means she could sleep longer. Now, as a person who has spend so much time with her, I know this is not her real reason. Simple calculation will show that the delay of one hour will be insignificant. The church we are attending is within walking distance, while the one in the city need 30min of travelling one way.
Ever since the last trip back to hometown, I have told myself and promised my mother in law that I will nurture her both physically and emotionally. This also means that I will give in to all her demand, at least temporarily, so that she would not suffer a mental breakdown. During the last trip, she basically blowed up in front of her parents and shouted like a person possessed. If you have seen her prolonged madness, you will breakdown crying too.....
When her mother saw that, she too began cry and pleads me that if we allow her to be agitated again, she may go mad.
Both of them told me that they know the fault is not on my side, and that she is very very unstable and not herself for the past one year. They notice that she has keeps repeating herself and does not know what she is talking about. But they also explained to be that I am the only person that could help her now and want me to do all I could, so that she will not thread this path of darkness.
As the husband, I agree, and promised them I would. And I know I have to....
But to ask me to attend another church as a visitor is just too much. For the past few weeks, I have been going through hell at work and have been worrying sick of my father's condition. Every call I receive at night send chills to my bone as my father is suffering from heart disease. The fact that we could not afford private hospitals means that we could only depend on public hospitals. And the waiting period for angiogram is just so long.
With all the pressure that I am in, I really needed the support and prayers of church brothers and sisters. I needed them to come along with me as I go through this difficult period of my life. I need their company and sunday is the only time where I could find some peace, solace and fellowship with them. And my spirit is renewed as I praise and worship to the Lord with the people I know with....
So, this demand from her is very very difficult for me to swallow and give in.
She even argued that if all I want is to worship the Lord, then it does not really matters which church I go!...well, if that's the case, why don't we setup an altar at home, just like the chinese do?
Throughout these difficult period, she has never really provided me with much comfort. She even refuse to visit my parents during Christmas and when my father celebrated his birthday....Nor did she called them to ask their condition. When I think of these, I become so sad and depressed.
We didn't really argue much. I just get out of the house while she continue to accuse me of putting brothers and sisters and even the church at a higher priority than her....sigh..
I attend the church alone, with a heavy heart. God knows my condition today, and he assigns don to be the worship leader today. He easily brings us into fellowship with the Lord and I cried out to the Lord during worship.
Yesterday, she slept late. Some functions at her company causes her to reach home only around 1am. By the time she finished bathing and drying her hair, it's already well past 2am.
This morning, I lovingly told her to continue sleeping and don't bother to go to church. I know she does not like to go to church, especially the one we are attending now. No particular reason, but most probably because of the CL. But then again, she never really make herself comfortable in any church or to build relationship with the members of the church.
I have also promised her that I will be back before afternoon, after which I shall cook lunch for her to eat. I took out a fish which I brought early yesterday morning at a major wet market near town, so that it will be ready when I am back in less than 3 hours time.
But she refuse. She says she want me to attend 'another church' at the city. Well, I couldn't understand the reason for her to do so. What is she thinking? The silly reason she gave?
Well the church starts an hour late from the one we used to attend. That means she could sleep longer. Now, as a person who has spend so much time with her, I know this is not her real reason. Simple calculation will show that the delay of one hour will be insignificant. The church we are attending is within walking distance, while the one in the city need 30min of travelling one way.
Ever since the last trip back to hometown, I have told myself and promised my mother in law that I will nurture her both physically and emotionally. This also means that I will give in to all her demand, at least temporarily, so that she would not suffer a mental breakdown. During the last trip, she basically blowed up in front of her parents and shouted like a person possessed. If you have seen her prolonged madness, you will breakdown crying too.....
When her mother saw that, she too began cry and pleads me that if we allow her to be agitated again, she may go mad.
Both of them told me that they know the fault is not on my side, and that she is very very unstable and not herself for the past one year. They notice that she has keeps repeating herself and does not know what she is talking about. But they also explained to be that I am the only person that could help her now and want me to do all I could, so that she will not thread this path of darkness.
As the husband, I agree, and promised them I would. And I know I have to....
But to ask me to attend another church as a visitor is just too much. For the past few weeks, I have been going through hell at work and have been worrying sick of my father's condition. Every call I receive at night send chills to my bone as my father is suffering from heart disease. The fact that we could not afford private hospitals means that we could only depend on public hospitals. And the waiting period for angiogram is just so long.
With all the pressure that I am in, I really needed the support and prayers of church brothers and sisters. I needed them to come along with me as I go through this difficult period of my life. I need their company and sunday is the only time where I could find some peace, solace and fellowship with them. And my spirit is renewed as I praise and worship to the Lord with the people I know with....
So, this demand from her is very very difficult for me to swallow and give in.
She even argued that if all I want is to worship the Lord, then it does not really matters which church I go!...well, if that's the case, why don't we setup an altar at home, just like the chinese do?
Throughout these difficult period, she has never really provided me with much comfort. She even refuse to visit my parents during Christmas and when my father celebrated his birthday....Nor did she called them to ask their condition. When I think of these, I become so sad and depressed.
We didn't really argue much. I just get out of the house while she continue to accuse me of putting brothers and sisters and even the church at a higher priority than her....sigh..
I attend the church alone, with a heavy heart. God knows my condition today, and he assigns don to be the worship leader today. He easily brings us into fellowship with the Lord and I cried out to the Lord during worship.
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