it's 10.52pm. I am still waiting for my spouse to return from her solitary trip around the place we stay. I don't know where she is. both her hand phones where shut off. well, it's a tiring wait, and a boring one too for me...not to mention plenty of worries as midnight approaches.
we had a pretty serious argument this afternoon. we usually don't have such serious argument, unless it's approaching her menstrual. but she just went through that last week, so....
so what's the problem? I doesn't know! but if you ask how I contribute to it, I can just say that I lost my temper when my wife started to give me cold treatment for no reason!
emm...okay, this is going to be lengthy. so if you could follow, great, but if you can't, ...who cares?
Me and his wife is married for 2 months. yeap, that's how 'long' we have been married. we have been dating for the past 10 years! haha, now that's long...
much as I thought that getting married is a new beginning, now I realised that nothing has changed and whatever burdens during the courtship was actually being dragged through the marriage corridor and has now become a constant stumbling stone to our relationship.
now, before I mention on the stumbling block, let me just describe to you, the reason of the cold treatment I receive this morning (sunday).
two days ago(friday), we were ferrying one brother(GB) and one sister(CL) from one parking lot to another parking lot, within the same building. nothing much was said during the short 30 sec journey, other than, left, right, behind and in front. the reason for the ferrying was to get some goods from the car of CL so that we could pass the goods to an old uncle we gonna ferry the next morning. so far, no problem.
now, the next morning (sat) comes and before I ferry the old uncle, i clean up the dash board of my car by removing some papers and brochures. that's where the problem starts. my spouse suddenly gave me the cold treatment and as usual i am dumb founded. it doesn't take long before she blurt out, saying that i clear up the dash board because i am embarrassed (abt my car cleanliness) after ferrying CL the day before. She continue spitting her venom by saying that CL has such huge attractiveness that it could move my hand to clear the few pieces of papers, which i stubbornly refuse to even after much nagging from her.
emm...it didn't actually goes downhill from there, i keep my cool. throughout , she keeps on showing her displeasure at me over this issue and continuously giving sarcastic remarks like -
BUT....i keep my cool. in fact we went to JayaOne, walking every corners as if we are the land surveyor, and after that to Ikea. we bought quite a number of stuff, but every time we go to the car, she would start repeating the same mantra again and again. all i could do is to quickly divert her attention by treating her some finger foods or show other loving gestures.
yes, i keep my cool...and i'm glad.
now, that was yesterday, and today, being the Lord's day, we went to church together. everything was fine, and we were kissing and hugging each other early in the morning. But, when the praise and worship starts, the cold treatment starts. she starts to move away from me intentionally. she refuse to be touched. she looked so self absorbed in her own world. well, i know her for so long and i'm all too familiar with all these signals. i know something is wrong, but what? although it troubled me greatly, i refuse to play along. i only get to praise and worship once a week, i am not gonna let her take away the peace that i am seeking so hard.
this is not the first time she takes away my 'peace'. sometimes when i am doing my devotion, she would taunt me for no reason. and whenever she's in the church, she's always feeling so out of place and uncomfortable. so self absorbed. she refuse to sing out loud, just movement of lips. does she really know what it means to come and praise and worship God? Does she understand what offering means to the Kingdom of God? Can she just push aside all the unproductive emotion and concentrate on God alone and ask God to direct her life and to grant her the wisdom to lead a righteous life?
later on, i realised it is for the same thing that she has been taunting yesterday. (yes, it has now become taunting to me) it must be the short trip to the church and the fact that CL happens to be ushering today that reminds her, sigh....
regardless of how much explanation i'm giving her, it's not good enough, in fact the taunting got worst.
Later, this uneasiness turn into a full blown argument when a slight misunderstanding happens during the afternoon lunch with the cell. (which is too difficult to describe, suffice to say that it involves $)
sigh....here's the first ranting...
BrogaHills
Updates 12am
Went out in search for wifey when she fails to return home. Drive through each road, to the nearest shopping complexes, McD, KFC, A&W, mamak and even drive deep into the neighbouring residential area. Giant is closed, so is Tesco.
Updates 1am
Finally give up and went back to home.
Whoa-la, she's there surfing the web. Didn't talk much, clean my face, brush my teeth and went straight to sleep. There is still a long day to go tomorrow.
we had a pretty serious argument this afternoon. we usually don't have such serious argument, unless it's approaching her menstrual. but she just went through that last week, so....
so what's the problem? I doesn't know! but if you ask how I contribute to it, I can just say that I lost my temper when my wife started to give me cold treatment for no reason!
emm...okay, this is going to be lengthy. so if you could follow, great, but if you can't, ...who cares?
Me and his wife is married for 2 months. yeap, that's how 'long' we have been married. we have been dating for the past 10 years! haha, now that's long...
much as I thought that getting married is a new beginning, now I realised that nothing has changed and whatever burdens during the courtship was actually being dragged through the marriage corridor and has now become a constant stumbling stone to our relationship.
now, before I mention on the stumbling block, let me just describe to you, the reason of the cold treatment I receive this morning (sunday).
two days ago(friday), we were ferrying one brother(GB) and one sister(CL) from one parking lot to another parking lot, within the same building. nothing much was said during the short 30 sec journey, other than, left, right, behind and in front. the reason for the ferrying was to get some goods from the car of CL so that we could pass the goods to an old uncle we gonna ferry the next morning. so far, no problem.
now, the next morning (sat) comes and before I ferry the old uncle, i clean up the dash board of my car by removing some papers and brochures. that's where the problem starts. my spouse suddenly gave me the cold treatment and as usual i am dumb founded. it doesn't take long before she blurt out, saying that i clear up the dash board because i am embarrassed (abt my car cleanliness) after ferrying CL the day before. She continue spitting her venom by saying that CL has such huge attractiveness that it could move my hand to clear the few pieces of papers, which i stubbornly refuse to even after much nagging from her.
emm...it didn't actually goes downhill from there, i keep my cool. throughout , she keeps on showing her displeasure at me over this issue and continuously giving sarcastic remarks like -
- only CL could make me do what i don't like to
- only CL could change me
- i don't love her, i only marry her because i have no choice and rejected by CL
- GB and JF (another brother) is hundreds times better than me....
BUT....i keep my cool. in fact we went to JayaOne, walking every corners as if we are the land surveyor, and after that to Ikea. we bought quite a number of stuff, but every time we go to the car, she would start repeating the same mantra again and again. all i could do is to quickly divert her attention by treating her some finger foods or show other loving gestures.
yes, i keep my cool...and i'm glad.
now, that was yesterday, and today, being the Lord's day, we went to church together. everything was fine, and we were kissing and hugging each other early in the morning. But, when the praise and worship starts, the cold treatment starts. she starts to move away from me intentionally. she refuse to be touched. she looked so self absorbed in her own world. well, i know her for so long and i'm all too familiar with all these signals. i know something is wrong, but what? although it troubled me greatly, i refuse to play along. i only get to praise and worship once a week, i am not gonna let her take away the peace that i am seeking so hard.
this is not the first time she takes away my 'peace'. sometimes when i am doing my devotion, she would taunt me for no reason. and whenever she's in the church, she's always feeling so out of place and uncomfortable. so self absorbed. she refuse to sing out loud, just movement of lips. does she really know what it means to come and praise and worship God? Does she understand what offering means to the Kingdom of God? Can she just push aside all the unproductive emotion and concentrate on God alone and ask God to direct her life and to grant her the wisdom to lead a righteous life?
later on, i realised it is for the same thing that she has been taunting yesterday. (yes, it has now become taunting to me) it must be the short trip to the church and the fact that CL happens to be ushering today that reminds her, sigh....
regardless of how much explanation i'm giving her, it's not good enough, in fact the taunting got worst.
Later, this uneasiness turn into a full blown argument when a slight misunderstanding happens during the afternoon lunch with the cell. (which is too difficult to describe, suffice to say that it involves $)
sigh....here's the first ranting...
BrogaHills
Updates 12am
Went out in search for wifey when she fails to return home. Drive through each road, to the nearest shopping complexes, McD, KFC, A&W, mamak and even drive deep into the neighbouring residential area. Giant is closed, so is Tesco.
Updates 1am
Finally give up and went back to home.
Whoa-la, she's there surfing the web. Didn't talk much, clean my face, brush my teeth and went straight to sleep. There is still a long day to go tomorrow.
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